It
by blacktears
Summary: Zim creates a machine called "It" and tests it on Mrs. Bitters. Dib of course tries to stop him, yadda yadda. Cliche, yes. My first Zim fic, so it's remotely forgivable. I think. I hope. Veh.


Disclaimer: Ah...what I wouldn't give to own Invader Zim...though, if I wanted something from Jhonen, I think I'd prefer Nny or Squee. Anyhow....point is, Zim and such does NOT belong to me, but rather to Jhonen Vasquez. No money made, no sueing me. ~evil lawyers grumble but leave~  
Note: This is my first Zim fic...it is not finished. It is supposed to be somewhat funny, but...eh. Dry humor so far, if any. I've had writer's block for the longest time now, and part of the reason I wrote this in the first place was to get rid of it. Please review when you're done. If you can think of a better name, please tell me. Thank you, thank you. ~harm~  
  
  
IT  
  
  
  
It was a dark night. The sky was clear, but the moon was not out and the stars all seemed to be especially insignificant. Even the light pollution of the city was dimmed, furthering the illusion of a truly pitch black night. A cackle filled the air, or at least the lower part of Zim's lair as the project he had labored on for so long came to an abrupt and rather anticlimatic end. It was finished! The key to his ruling the world was in his grasp! Just to test it....  
  
~*~  
  
Zim's green eyelids drooped wearily over the uncomfortable lenses as he dragged his tired body through the skool hallways. He'd been up much too long without rest or food to be going to skool....but his triumph was too great to stay home. He needed to gloat; he needed to grin menacingly....but most of all he needed to TEST IT!   
  
Pulling himself erect-or more so at least-the small alien strode into Mrs. Bitter's classroom and slid into the chair behind his desk. The classroom was practically deserted-no student wanted to come into the horrid room that contained their ancient teacher unless they absolutely had to. And the said "ancient teacher" rarely left the room. She eyed Zim from her desk with a suspicious air as he shoved the paper bag he'd been carrying onto his desk top. Mrs. Bitters eyed the bag-it was simple with no definate shape to the object inside and if it had belonged to any other student, the snake-like teacher would have assumed it contained lunch-a horrid apple and a sandwich leaking jelly perhaps. But something about Zim's expression...his early arrival...the obvious obsessive way he looked at the bag gave the kooky teacher the impression that the bag contained much more than an applle and sandwich...a cookie perhaps?  
  
Incedently, Mrs. Bitters was partially correct...the said bag DID contain more than a puny Earthling child's lunch-but it held no cookie. Inside the non-descript bag was It! The machine that Zim had created...the machine that the very thought of set the alien cackling...the machine that he must test sometime, and soon.  
  
Large, human-like eyes narrowed as Zim looked at Bitters, an idea forming in his head. There was no one else in the classroom-there wasn't likely to be anyone else for a number of minutes. Standing the little alien smiled and stalked towards his teacher. "Mrs. Bitters," he said, forcing his voice to be as "normal" as possible, though a tint of his repressed chuckle managed to seep into it none the less. "I wanted to show you how much I appreciate your...er....magnificently human teaching meathods," The small Irken snatched the bag off his desk. "Let me give you a little present...." He chuckled as Mrs. Bitters began hissing-but it was too late. He opened the bag and took It out......  
  
~*~  
  
Dib walked into his classroom, glancing briefly at Zim-who was sitting at his desk, hands clasped on it's surface. Dispite how the green boy's eyelids drooped, the alien looked more than slightly smug, which both confused and worried Dib. Puzzling over what might have happened to cause this happiness in his adversary, Dib marched to his seat and sat down facing the large desk in the front of the room. Mrs. Bitters was, predictably, already sitting at her large desk, looking from student to student from behind her large butterfly glasses. Dib shuddered and looked away, his little brain working as fast as it could, trying to figure out what exactly Zim had done that had made him so happy looking. Drugs? No, that wasn't likely...though...drugs wasn't all that bad an idea. If Dib drugged him up, perhaps the green "child" would admit the truth to the world, ruining his plans for world domination! A slow smile spread over the human's face at the thought, but he quickly shook it away. He had to find out what was making Zim so happy! the world depended on it!  
  
"Today class," Mrs. Bitter's creepy voice broke through Dib's thoughts, shattering any theories that his subconcious had been forming. "We will be learning about gravity..." the dark haired boy was turning his attention back to more important matters than GRAVITY, when a smile broke out on Bitter's face.  
  
The smile was completely out of place...it wasn't sadistic! In fact, the smile that the old woman was wearing was sweet, excited...as though she was a little girl with an ice cream cone and a kitten. Dib stared, his eyes growing even wider than they already were...behind him, he heard one student fall out of their chair in shock, but he paid the noise little heed. The smile! It was just so....frightening!  
  
"And I was thinking," Mrs. Bitter's continued, her entire tone changing from old and senile to excited and happy...and old, of course. "That what better way to learn about gravity, then to go play on the slide! After all, it's such a NICE day out..." Dib choked on his tongue. Mrs. Bitters saying that they would go PLAY on the SLIDE because it was a NICE DAY OUT?!!  
  
Dib's eyes slid automatically over to where Zim sat. The poorly disguised alien's smile was now more than smug-the smile held TRIUMPH in it's depths! This is why Zim was so happy? The fiend! He made Mrs. Bitters NICE!   
  
"So come on kids!" The usually-disagreeable teacher said happily, coming out from behind her desk without the snake-like things she usually did, her smile widening to a positive grin. "Lets go!" Frightened the students stood, and-with further urging of their teacher-filed out the door.   
  
There was utter silence as the throng of children walked down the hall-well, utter silence except for the cheery humming of their teacher. The students were, for the most part, scared. Many believed that they were being led to their demise-that the doom obsessed teacher was leading them to the broiler room where she would slowly roast them alive and then eat them with ketchup and perhaps salt. Other children believed that Mrs. Bitters had simply lost her mind, and that it was an infectious mind-disease which would eventually infect and kill them all. Only Zim and Dib knew the truth-and Dib only knew part of it.  
  
Dib ran ahead to where Zim was walking and grabbed the green student's arm. Zim turned, eyelids lowered so that only half of his contact-covered eyes were visable. "Don't touch me!" he hissed, pulling away roughly.  
  
"Zim!" Dib gasped, trying to appear menacing, but failing miserably. "What did you do to Mrs. Bitters? I demand that you change her back immediatly!"  
  
A smile slowly spread over Zim's face once again, and the small alien crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm impressed, DIB," The Irken Invader spit out the human's name with obvious contempt. "That a pathetic earth-thing like you connected me to our teacher's bizaare behavior,"   
  
Eyes narrowing, Dib wished for the thousandth time that he carried a tape recorder with him at all times...if he did...then he'd have the proof he needed! THEN people wouldn't make fun of him! Yes, then he would be the respected paranormal investigator that he was destined to be!  
  
"What did you do?" Dib repeated, his voice softer, lower with a hint of danger in it. "Tell me, Zim...."  
  
Zim's smirk grew slightly at Dib's obvious vexation. "I did-"  
  
"Don't dawdle, children!" Mrs. Bitter's called from further down the hall in a sing-song voice. "Lets get to the playground now!"   
  
Dib froze. The sound of the creepy snake-woman being...cheery...nice....it frightened him. Paralized him. When it occured to his miniscule brain that he should start moving again, Zim was already much further ahead with the rest of the class, and Dib still didn't have the answer to his question.  
  
~*~  
  
Note: Um...I'll continue this later. I kinda wanted to get SOMETHING out...to get rid of writer's block, ya know? Anyhow, review. Flames are welcome...YES! BUUUUURN!!!!! (I like fire! : ) 


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